What constitutes a human being as a friend? like a good friend. Not an old friend. I have acquaintances whom I haven't spoken to in years, but I may still refer to them as a "friend".

Whenever I’m in my hometown I make extraordinary small talk with people I run into from high school. Let’s say I run into Denise from 3^rd period Calculus. I’d ask, how school was going. Work the weather. Ask if she had seen the latest Kevin Hart movie because I swear there’s a new one out every week. (He recently played, “Snowball,” a white bunny in an animated movie. A white bunny. White. He’s really pushing the envelope with such diversity. Not sure how Obama’s America is going to take a black man playing a “white” role).

Oh wait…

Sorry, super off topic. Okay back to the topic, real friends. What constitutes a human being as a friend? Wait, I already asked that. Okay, the part about running into Denise from 3^rd period Calculus. I don’t dislike these people, but at the same time if they were having a party I’d probably say, “Oh yeah? Text me the address, I’ll totally be there.” Then I’d actually be at home, laying on the couch, watching “How I Met Your Mother” episodes with my parents trying to explain contemporary comedy to my mother. I swear our parents are from a different generation.

I wasn’t obligated to attend Denise from 3^rd period Calculus’s party. We’re not really friends. I know I said that I’d be there, but those are just things that you say. Like when you text a girl to hangout or get dinner at TGI Fridays and she doesn’t reply. But then you see her at the gym, obviously on an elliptical, and she says that she had, like, a lot of emails to check.

Honestly there isn’t a one size fits all definition for a real friend. Real friends are willing to sacrifice part of themselves for you. Be there when you’re down. And pop champagne when you’re up.

Basically a real friend is anyone willing to take you to the airport really early in morning.

Yep, that’s pretty much it.

Daniel Santasier