It seems as though there is no way out. Everything feels so heavy sometimes. Pressure weighing down on your skin as if something was squeezing you like a closed fist around a stress ball. The perceptions of others, mainly the people you care most for, are the heaviest. I have dreamed and continue to dream the dream of all dreams, where everything is taken seriously. I am a white, Jewish, heterosexual, male, grew up in South Florida, went to Cypress Bay High School, went to the University of Florida, am an artist, an entrepreneur, am a designer, am a CEO, am an Uber driver, am a graphic designer, am an athlete, etc. These things seem to define me and I go about my days whirling these concepts around in my head and all of their counter parts.

     The mind is magnificent!

     It can take literal energy and turn it into physical things. It can take nothing and make it something. It's all based on how you think about it and how those thoughts can come together to make it a physical reality. Wow!!!! How divine we are because we did that same thing with our body and everything we see around ourselves. The mind is so POWERFUL. That power can be used in which ever way we see fit.



     The "problem" or what "feels" like the issue is that it seems to be running us for the most part. We have went ALL IN on our mind, perceptions, thoughts, emotions and EGO, that we forgot the most crucial aspect of ourselves, our Soul, the true ruler of our being and bodily kingdom. The ruler that has been able to impregnate our bodies with life. The ruler that sustains all aspects of our being & body. The ruler that pumps our hearts, that directs our cells, that fires our neurons in unimaginable speeds. The ruler that flexes our muscles in our face to frown, speak and chew. This ruler is apart of us and is US. We have disregarded it because it "doesn't make sense to our minds" or its not physical or just because it's much easier to believe in lies.

     When I say lies, I am simply stating things that aren't true or things that aren't the Truth. Things that aren't true or real, are things that do not last, are perishable, that change. The truth does not change, it is eternal and independent upon time and space. The body, cars, desks, Jimmy John's subs, Ben & Jerry's ice cream, anything external is not the truth (only a reflect of the truth), it comes and goes. What is true is the energy that glues together the universe, keeps the body moving, the birds chirping, the world spinning, and the universe expanding. It has no attachment to anything physical, it transcends it. That truth is what made you (all intricate systems and functions of the vast universe of your body) and is YOU.   

        If you look around you what you see is what you hold dearly. What is without, is a reflection of what is within. Both within and without seem to be a part of a cycle or have a cyclical nature. It's like a positive feedback loop. The more "caught up" you are in your emotions, mind stuff, your perceptions of your body & senses, the more the outside will show you what you are. This is where we find ourselves today.

     For example, today our main motives throughout the day are all based on fear. Everything we do is in someway based on the fear of death. We are so attached to our bodies, that the fear of death makes us shit our pants because death means that our bodies (which we think is all we are) would be gone "forever"/ we would be lifeless.

     Whenever someone almost crashes into us in a car our hearts race. Our hearts race because we are scared. We are scared because of the consequences in our head. Those consequences in our head have been play out by us through all the external experiences we have had (mostly movies, other scenarios of people who have crashed, the news, friends experiences, etc). We keep those concepts of fear filed away in our mind's hard-drive. We haven't really gotten to the point of the organization of these files because we haven't yet realized that we have been downloading these files and letting them roam around, unaccounted for, on our mind's computer...  



     Just like on a computer, when we download files or download these instances of fear, we have the ability, right when we download or come in contact with them, to deal with them/ organize them. However, we do not. Usually because we haven't trained ourselves to cultivate our divine energies to be able to look at fear for what it really is, a web of triggers we haven't been able to deal with yet. Or files we haven't been able to open yet. These files could be lost, missing or corrupted.

     What happens when a trigger comes about?

     It feels like it all comes rushing in at once. Heart pumps, fist clench, forehead sweats, thoughts bouncing around like a game of olympic table tennis, emotions rushing in, etc. In those moments, you get overtaken by the files you haven't identified or organized and "act out" & do something that is a detriment to yourself or the people around you.

     This is the society we live in right now.

     Everyones' files (including mine) are all unaccounted for in themselves & there is no distinctive method, schooling or guidance for people to follow to be able to deal with this turmoil. It's just "shut up and take this pill" or "shut up and make more money". That is all fine 'n dandy because we have to thrive in this world we live in, but the root of the problem is being avoided it seems.

     We have created a mess! Look outside and you will see it all if you haven't already. It's all a portrayal of what it means to disregard what's inside and to try and deal with the problem on the surface. That never works, truly. It may get you through the moment and to the "other side" but the "problems" will still follow you like a shadow.

     So what I am saying?

     Time to tighten dem boots (cough, cough Always True Jays ;) coming soon) & go to war, if you are at this point in your life.

      SIDENOTE: Everyone is different/ experiencing life in such an individualistic way that everyone is at different instances in their processes. So it's okay for your friend to not "be" or "understand" where you are at, they have their own shit to go through. Everyone moves their own way & no one is above or better than the next. We are all evolving according to a universal plan of some sort. The most peaceful thing we can do, is to work on ourselves & go to war with the "problems" we have managed to create.

     As soon as that energy gets directed from trying to "get back at this person", or "fuck the weather" or "everyone hates me" to "wait a second, who's saying these things?.... Its seems like 'me' but how could it be 'me' if I am here observing myself saying these awful things?" lol...

     You eventually realize that,

     "It's all on 'me' and it has always been 'me'. The way I am digesting everything and the way I am reacting right now in this situation has nothing to do with the outside and has everything to do with what's inside me. If my inside is solid like a boulder, then the outside wind will not be able to push it over. The inside can only be solid if I am able to go against/ go to war with my Ego, in order to chip away at the things that are keeping me low, contained or making me feel smaller than I actually am."

     What do I mean by going to war?

     This war can be symbolically understood in terms of how all great stories put it. Good V. Evil. Stars Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek, Game of Thrones (this has more of a dark touch but still Good v. Evil), Holy Bible, Torah, Bhagavad Gita, etc, all portray the essence of this Good V. Evil battle. You have an aspect of yourself that can be deemed as "Evil" and another aspect deemed as "Good". These 2 aspects within seem to go head-to-head, all the time, 24/7.



     For the most part, our true nature is to be good. The reason I say this is because it is assumed not only in myself but from the deeper part of myself and the same goes for you. Even though there is evil in the world, there is always a sense or essence that Good will always prevail. Evil is only momentarily manifested. Joy, Peace & Love are eternal. Look at everything you see.

     Look at nature. For the most part, there is peace. In the middle of the woods, there is nothing to be heard and within that nothing there may be a sound of a snake slithering or a bear crushing leaves. Peace is omnipresent and forever, turmoil or evil is only temporary. War can break out on the surface and for many years, but once it's over, the surrounding environment envelops the war zones and the peace resumes (or the awareness of peace resumes because peace always IS, our awareness is only temporarily distracted by turmoil). However much we want to hold onto evil, is how long it will last for us.

     Why is it that some people who are in the shittiest of human situations can be the most fulfilled and the people in the most prestigious situations can feel the most void?

     It all depends on your inner life & how much you have decided to face. Basically, how much of these life files you are able to open, digest and transmute. Eventually, they will be addressed whether in this lifetime or the next or however you want to think of eternity and the circle of life. 

     How to transmute the exhausting energy of mind, intellect, emotions & senses into divine energy?

     How do most people solve problems in life? Let's just take a businessman for example. What a businessman does is find a problem that occurs in our society and implements a solution to fix it and in doing so, the businessman creates value for other humans. In order to create the solution that creates the value, the businessman has to really focus or concentrate on the solution to make it make sense for everyone. The variable here that can help anyone really accomplish anything in this life is FOCUS.

     Since LeBron James has been able to focus his attention, energy & life on the game of basketball he has been able to sculpt his physical body to the shape it needs to be in & the flexibility/ agility he needs to have to be great at basketball. Same goes with LeBron's mental state, the ability to read the ball, read his opponents and understand spacial reference between the court and the hoop. The magnificence of the LeBron that you see has been cultivated by his steady focus to become a great player of the game on and off the court. This all would not be possible without LeBron's steady focus & concentration on his goal.




     How can this pertain to you?

     Focus needs to be practiced to achieve anything in this human life, whether it be business, art, sports, sewing, weightlifting, cooking, cleaning, etc. There needs to be a level of commitment in order to see results. We all have this potential to focus in proportion to our perception of our potential.

     Now, just like there is a way to become physically stronger, there is a way to become spiritually strong. When you become spiritually stronger, this impacts every aspect of your being, increasing your energy. This energy overflows into your body, mind and your soul. It flows through every artery and vein & charges every cell in your body. Focus, specifically focusing on one concept or one aspect of yourself, uninterrupted is where the change and the transmutation of life's energies can occur for yourself.

     We are bobble heads right now, constantly bouncing from one thought to the next, head moving a million miles-a-minute, emotions strapping us in on a wild mood rollercoaster of ups and downs. There is so much commotion/ restlessness and not enough peace. There is a way to be aware of the peace that you already have.

     How can that be done?

     To start, all you need to do is focus on your breath. As you do so you will realize how much you have been tied to your thoughts because they won't SHUT THE FUCK UP. You will see that no matter how hard you try and focus on your breath, you are getting side tracked. This is okay. This is a part of learning to master yourself. You have given up your energy to the cloud, to your phone, to television, your mind, etc because that's where you are at right now. Notice yourself throughout the day as you are watching Netflix or scrolling through your phone.

     What's happening IN your head?

     What is happening TO your head?

     It is being turned down. Your head is physically being turned to the ground. What does this mean? This is means you are lowering your energy. Think about how much energy (electricity) is in the dancing images on your phone. Think of the brightness illuminating from the screen and think of that brightness being absorbed by your eyes. For hours you are doing this.

     What does this do?

     The phone can we depicted as a thing that is sucking away aspects of your energy like the dementors in Harry Potter. This is fine (I keep saying this not only for you but for me too, can't take myself/ yourself too seriously & have to cut your ass some slack/ be gentle with yourself). Just be aware of this. Take note of how you feel, your energy and your being as you spend the whole day binging (I do the same shit). You will see that you are groggy, you may eat excessively (have too many snacks), and you may be more restless.



      Now, you may say, "I can't help it I'm just addicted," and I would say that's facts. Until, you realize that there is no truth in your desires, you will eternally stay in that addictive cycle (which isn't necessarily good or bad, it just is for your situation). The way to break the cycle or just become aware of your cycle is to understand what a desire really is.

     What is a Desire?

     A desire is a strong wishful behavior that you perform (whether physical/ mental) in hopes it can provide you with true divine happiness/ peace. Basically, instead of going deep into the depth of your being to focus and quiet your restlessness, you have decided that your fulfillment has to come from something the mind can comprehend and the senses can feel, of which both are limited. You have become distracted with the play things of this divine universe & you have decided to stay and perpetuate this cycle because you can never have enough. The void you have is unlimited because you are trying to fulfill your unlimited nature with limited things. Logically speaking, the unlimited doesn't & won't ever equal the limited. 

     You have "fallen from grace", which is a common theme with all humans. "Fallen from grace" simply means you have succumbed to your desires (which won't complete you) in hopes that you can achieve the same level of peace & completion as God (i.e.The Universe, Krishna, Spirit, etc) from those desires. Again, desires aren't bad, it just depends on how many tentacles you are wrapping around the desire and if that desire is causing you pain or suffering & how much of that pain you want to believe in (only you can identify this for yourself). This belief in pain is what clouds our awareness from our divine birthright, which is peace. 

     We were once at this state of peace because we all have this insane yearning to achieve it again. It is evident in all of our activities we perform throughout the day. I go out to build a business because I want to have money. I want to have money so that I can provide for myself. I want to provide for myself so that I can afford a house, clothes, food, water, car, insurance, cell phone, etc. I want money to have a "better" physical life. I want to have a better physical life because I deserve it. I deserve it because I am it. I am all I got, so might as well live the best life. How can I live the best life? I work my ass off to be in peace.

     As you can see, if you go deep enough and ask yourself enough questions, you can get closer to the roots of your concepts. Getting back to the roots (tapping into the source of your life), can bring about immense change in yourself just like replanting a dying tree. When a tree is dying, one of the main variables to check out is the soil because that is where the tree is getting most of its nutrition. If a tree looks like it is dying, you don't just cut the dying leaves or stems & hope that it will come back. Doing this will temporarily sprout some new stems and leaves, but it won't sustain the life of the tree for long. True change comes from replanting the tree into a more nourishing environment. In other worlds, you detach the plant from its current state of living & place it into a higher/ better state of living.

     This is the same with yourself. If you go and cut the leaves (get better things, chase bigger desires), you are not getting to the true core of the issue. You are just growing more stems (more desires) and creating more turmoil in your mental and physical life (again if this is a part of your process this is okay, just be aware to the best of your ability). However, if you follow the stems and leaves back through the tree into the trunk and then into the roots, you will be able to see the roots, examine them and assess what to do with them. You will be able to take all the energy that has been directed towards the leaves and stems (thoughts, concepts, senses, ego), and channel them directly through the body of the tree back into the roots (the source). You will be able to recharge your energy. This is how you can become a stronger being. This is how you can recharge your energy directly from the source like getting electricity directly from an outlet. This is how you can overcome and transmute your habits. 



     Another Analogy 

     Think of your habits as a culmination of code set up in a computer, that make it do certain actions. For instance, when you want to open up a program on your computer, let's say Adobe Creative Cloud, you click on the icon. When you double click on the icon, the icon bounces but also starts up a series of code (on the back end), which is a combination of words, phrases, that tell the computer to do a certain action. This series of code that launches the Adobe Application on your computer is symbolic of the series of thought patterns that launch a habit within you.

     We are similar to computers in this manner, but even more intelligent (some of us lol) because we have the awareness of experiencing ourselves & our habits. We have the ability to take the information we are experiencing (habits we are creating) and transmute them into energy, life, and physical manifestations.

     However, like I have mentioned previously, that ability has not been exercised or trained, so everything is outta control, it's madness!!!! AHHHHH...

     You have downloaded as many files (experiencing all of life's situations) as you could manage and ended up with a desktop (mental space) scattered with information (restless thoughts). That shit is everywhere like a 5 course meal from Taco Bell! Ding Dong! Boomtown! Kaplow!

     Since everything is everywhere, there is nothing to grasp or hold on to. The foundation has not been cultivated, so when a trigger comes up for you, you reach out for something, but it slips right through our hands like a m*fking butterfingers.

     Instead, you panic, so you skip straight to an end result (instantly & reactively) which is "You made me this way, I hate you," for instance. Behind that "I hate you" is a bunch of spirals & webs of connecting thoughts, concepts, perceptions of yourself that are just swirling in your head or in the cloud. They are out of control, only because YOU FELL ALSEEP. Once you wake up, become more aware and focus on these concepts of yourself, you will start to be able to see the grooves and you will be able to redirect the grooves into a more efficient & unrestrained river of energy and consciousness. You just have to back track and reroute. As a new trigger comes up, it's time to "Back Track 'n Reroute".... EVERY. TIME...

     Less "I Hate You's" and more of "even though that hurt, thank you for letting me see that I am triggered by you because now I can look at that thing that is holding me back"...



     Okay so back to focusing. See how I went off on a tangent, well kinda. 

     I'm working on it!

     Focus is achieved by being able to concentrate on one object uninterrupted for a long time. The goal is to get so encapsulated by the concentration of the object that you become one with it and you diminish the channel of energy that you have been funneling to your senses, mind, thoughts, & emotions. Its so that you can calm the restlessness of the shit-show you created, so that you can come more into the truth, your TRUE nature or Soul, a reflection of the Almighty/ of the Universe. It's so you can relieve the stress you put on your body and use that stress energy to transcend your body/ the things that are weighing you down. It's to transmute your limited energy into fueling your unlimited nature. Giving expanded awareness to the consciousness that is giving you awareness... 

     It's simply changing the way you perceive yourself and expanding on the consciousness you already have within.

     Right now your consciousness is mainly tied to your body which is why you suffer a lot and are in pain for the most part. As you focus on detaching your awareness from your body and expanding that awareness, you become much more than the body. You become the life energy that sustains the body. As you expand more and more you become the awareness of the world, and then the universe... its eternal and it goes forever. But as you start to cultivate this awareness, you will start to realize,

     "Holy fuck! I am not only the body, but I am this and that, I am it all."

     But again, this takes some training and you must have the willingness to want to train to do it. Some people will say, "Dat boi Drizzy (Drew) is on the drugs, no way this is possible," some will say, "I feel you" and some will say, "I want to start to do this". You will move in/ at whatever stage is right for you. If not now, it will eventually start to naturally occur. The surface can only fulfill you so much before you inevitably have to go deeper. It's like surface conversations, they are fun and interesting, ooo Lala, but eventually you realize they all are coverings for the truth. Inevitably, yourself will yearn to go deeper and it will uncover exactly what it needs to move to the next point on your journey.

     Let's take it from the top!

     There is no escape. No grass that is greener. Nothing on the "other side". This is all Fugazi. Here, now, is the only truth. The past is gone and the future never is. Right now is so powerful that the mind can't even process it.

     Think about it, your mind will explode. Just right now, the air conditioner is buzzing (all processes in the AC have to coordinate to turn on/ off), the birds are chirping (inside those birds is a life energy that is making all their organs move and function), the sun is shining over EVERYTHING, your phone is working based on a system of microscopic circuits, the insects in the ground are doing some wild shit, on and on and on and you are just here reading/ thinking/ taking a shit. Lol.

     It's so vast and massive that your little mind can not even fathom the intricacies of the universe all at once...

     Since there is no escape, and everything is an illusion realistically, what is the purpose?

     The purpose is to be YOU exactly where you are & as you are. The purpose is to go to war & work on yourself as much as you can so you can reclaim your immortal thrown. This means to download the files of life and really look into them & organize them/ become in charge of them as they come up throughout your daily life.


     Why do this?

     You do this so that you can become aware of your magnificence & your divinity again.

     You do this so that you become lighter physically, mentally & spirtually.

     You do this so that you can be joyful, happy, peaceful, successful, abundant, healthy, and embody all the good things.

     You do this so that you can center your body, mind and soul so that life can flow like butter on a griddle & so that you can move in unison with that buttery trail.

     You do this to better yourself within and when you better yourself within, you can better yourself and other beings without. It all starts with one thought, there is NO ESCAPE. It is all here, right now, exactly where it needs to be. Keep shining your light on everything, focusing your energy on it & that is what you will become, if you aren't that already.

I love you.

Stay True. Rest in Peace. Always True,


Drew Howard

Creative Director/ CEO of Always True Co.

Non-Gmo Certified Administrator for the Culinary Institute of America

Official Officiator of the Official Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet (2017-Present) #teamshihtzu

The Mac Daddy Incumbent for the State of Florida Alligator Reserve (only 3 in the state, hannn)

The Gun Slinging, Toe Nail filin', Flea Flickin', Fried Oreo Eatin' Banshee Ridin' Professional Parmesan Cheese Grater  

National Representative to the International Weeny Hut Juniors Association (2000-present)

Avocado Toast Toasting, Sesame Seed Snortin', MoPed Riding Son of an Uzi 

Manager of Managing Managers who Manage Management at the Management Company on 123 Management Way, Management, MT 44444. (Fax #1-800- MAN-AGEM, only one page at a time please, low on ink at the Management Office Printer #Management)

Sun Boy 2f5 from Planet Septic Tanks-R-US (Outer-rim, out of network provider)

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Master Cornelius Wax on Wax off Toliet Bowl Cleaners Deluxe (Non-toxic) 

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Last, but certainly not least, Jimmy John the 24th, 24th of his name, King of the Jimmy's and the First Johns, Lord of the Seven Slimbobs and Protector of the Rimmy (no slam dunks on this boi) with the Timmy.





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