10:36 am 

Everything is moving fast. The minutes are flying by, the hours seem to come and go, the days seem to fade faster than they came. With each passing moment I'm seeing how beautiful life is.. and how valuable our time here on earth is....

What's really on my mind? Hate. Okay let's get it out. Why is hate on my mind? Because I hate myself. Why do you hate yourself. Because of what I did to such an amazing soul. Do you feel as though you're still that person who did what you did? No I do not.... I don't think so... I would never do something like that again in my life - I don't think. It was wrong. I hurt a beautiful soul. And now that soul hates me from what it seems, which is sad. I feel scared to reach out. I feel scared to hurt her. But all I want is for her to understand and realize how much inner turmoil I had inside at the time... Life was different back then... I was different back then. I was reckless. I had no regards for others, especially when I was under the consumption of alcohol... that was the worst... and drugs too. But things have changed, I don't abuse those anymore... I identified that those were causes to my madness.. to my destruction...

I'm a very powerful soul. One capable of so much... so much goodness or so much destruction.. every day is a constant battle of fighting through the darkness to see the light and use my power for good versus evil. I feel like we all have that inside, the good and the evil... but for me it seems as though I have an especially powerful being inside of me... two beings is what it feels like. A God and a demon. I can be either one at any moment. I can cause immense happiness, joy and good example, or I can destruct and cause pain, sorrow, and grief...

When I let the demon take over I don't feel good. My body gets hot. I start to sweat. I feel an uneasiness that I know others around me feel, giving off a vibe that I don't want to necessarily give off...

It's when I let the light inside - the God inside - take over.... that's when I feel something so supernatural and extraordinary. I feel lifted. I feel as though I am floating through out my day on a cloud, encouraging myself and others.. pushing myself and others.. smiling.. laughing.. lighting up the world with positive energy...

This all just comes back to choices... I always have the choice. The choice to give light to the demon inside or a choice to give light to the God inside. It's all in my control. It's all in my power. I can either tear this world down or I can light this world up. I have something inside that is only just starting to break through the cracks. A shine so bright that when it begins to break the cracks, some eyes may be blinded. Those blinded eyes will watch though. Those blinded eyes will observe. They will wonder, ponder, and stare as I develop into a form greater than I could've ever seen coming..

I will lead others to their light. That is my duty here. It's to break free of my own darkness and guide others out of their own. It is to show that the light is never too dim to be ignited, no matter how long you've been in a dark cave for.

I understand where you are at. I've been in your shoes. Heck, I still am. I may only be a few steps ahead of you, willing and able to lead - giving up is not an option for me. If you're a few steps ahead of me, guide me in my journey - help to light the way for the rest of us as we continue ours...

That's what all of this is, a journey. Life is a journey to the light - your light - your happy place - your salvation. We have different goals, dreams, aspirations and missions. It is your journey to find yours. Shut out the doubt. Shut out the fear. Shut out the darkness.

Today and every day forward, let's light this world up - brighter than its ever been. The world is already dark enough - be the positive light it needs.....

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This is my true mind.. my unfiltered thoughts... this is how I write... read more of what I have to say www.mytruemind.com

Kevin Masaro